Motherhood & Guilt (Talking Parrot – 2)
Well for me, life’s going on with more hiccups but some fun too, busier but with new learning too, tougher but with more… errm wait, what’s my life if it’s not tough. Don’t remember when was the last time that it was simple, or as per plan or easy. But whatever it is, it’s going on. More on some key changes in my life this year in my next post. As of now, I’m back with my talking parrot series with the little one :).
When I was done with my shouting, little one climbed up on stool again and innocently asked me:
Once again I don’t think I can express it in words how I felt at that moment. With welled up eyes, guilt within, I looked at his innocent expression. And within seconds my emotions took hundred and eighty degree turn! Thousands of thoughts flashing across my mind – why wasn’t I more patient, why did I get irritated without trying to understand what he was trying to do and many more… Gawd, motherhood is one hell of a complicated thing. Apart from making your emotional gland hyperactive, it also makes this emotion known as “guilt” super productive. You do whatever, this damn guilt doesn’t leave you at peace!
While the sensible brain told me that I reacted for all right reasons, after all within few seconds something really bad could have happened with that gas stove on but the emotional side kept on telling me – has anyone ever offered you tea in the morning since you left your mom’s house? Wasn’t it the sweetest thing a two year old could think of doing for you? It was, it really was…