Giving in to life

Ritu committed suicide…Oh my god, I can’t believe this!!! Why has she done this? Was she really this weak? But she seemed so confident & so lively…Ritu was one of my professional acquaintances, with whom I was interacting almost daily. From her external appearance, she seemed to be so confident, so enthusiastic, so optimistic…always in some bright & bold outfits, always speaking of her dreams & wishes to grow in life…always speaking of her party packed & shopping filled weekends…In fact sometimes, I used to be envious of her “happy” life. I was so wrong; it was all so showy & so pretentious!!! In her suicide note, she had written that she can’t cope-up with the challenges of life & she is tired of unfavorable circumstances in her life.
Last week, read about the suicide of model Kuljeet Randhawa also. Shocking again…Then about Nadira, who was also living alone for past 30 years…Sometimes back, Parveen Babi & before that Nafisa…The list is endless…
Well, frankly speaking was definitely shocked with all these celebrity deaths because of loneliness & depression however wasn’t affected too much, but the death of Ritu has left me pondering & thinking…I don’t know how many people like Ritu must be giving in to life these days, but such celebrity deaths definitely throw lights on the fact that increasing number of people are giving in to the pressures of life these days.

For past few days, even I am feeling sad & perhaps depressed (well, don’t know if its depression or what). Not happy with so many things in my life. I am aware of certain facets of my life, which can’t be changed at all. I also know that its better to adjust with the circumstances which can’t be changed but somehow not able to adjust & not able to come to terms with the reality or maybe reality is too hard to adjust.
Apart from personal life, professionally also things aren’t very smooth. So much unhealthy competition, so much trick games, so much manipulation & so much to fight!!! Sometimes, feel like giving up all the desire to achieve something in life & live a very peaceful & low profile life. Sincerely wish for just living for the moment & not worrying about tomorrow…But can’t help it.

Day in, day out we are so much bombarded with phrases like “Strategic Planning”, “Vision”, “Goal”, “Future Map”, “Competitive Strategy”, “Way Ahead”, “Right Positioning” etc. in our professional lives that we have simply forgotten the meaning of phrases like “living for the moment”, “be yourself”, “simple thinking” etc. in our personal lives. You simply can’t afford to live for the moment & not to think ahead. If you aren’t going to rack your brain & think strategically, then you will have to really face some tough difficulties as so many people are just eyeing on you to take your position away by any means. If you aren’t aggressive, then you can’t survive only, forget about growing ahead!!! If you aren’t super confident & extrovert, you simply can’t accept it in public as in today’s age there is no place for a normal introvert person. Its better to pretend to be confident & optimistic than to accept your real self. In personal life also, you need to have so many things not only to have a proper existence rather also to meet the expectations of your peers & family. You need to have a decent job & apart from basic necessities like decent accommodation & food, these days you need to have some inevitable gazettes & gizmos without which your life can’t function at all. The earning capacity has definitely got increased but so has got the expenses. The job scenario has definitely got changed, but so has got our expectation from jobs. The living style has definitely got more advanced but so has got the levels of stress. Depression, anxiety & stress are the buzzword these days and are mostly associated with the youth. It has become as common a disease as flu or cold.

Sometimes, I really wonder on the quality of our lives. Why are so many people giving in to the pressures of life? Is it because life has become very difficult or is it because our expectation from life has changed? Is it because we aren’t able to achieve desired things in our lives or is it because we want to achieve too many things too early in our lives?

Update on 14the Feb'06 (10:07p.m.): Please note that this blog is not about death of any particular celebrity rather its about common people like us.I have left a detail comment in comments section for those who have misunderstood it to be a blog on celebrity deaths. Ritu is not a fictitous character.She was one of my known friends whose suicide had left me shocked & made me ponder over our lives.