Common yet rare!

Yesterday evening had a chance to return early from work and that too during daylight. While nearing the lift I noticed lots of happy kids playing and running around. Well, to be honest I had no idea that there are so many kids in my apartment and even kids of today’s generation go out and play games like hide & seek in playgrounds! From their chirpiness and conversations it looked like they were playing hide & seek itself with few of them hidden in the basement car parking area. When I reached my floor, just outside the lift saw these two young girls of neighborhood family clapping hands and playing Miss Mary, Mac, Mac, Mac (something on the lines of the hindi one “aam churi, chappan churi”… remember :-) ?). That game and the way they were playing immediately brought a smile on my face :-). Oh, so kids do play such games till now, though with bit variation but the core fun aspect looked the same.

As soon as I entered my home, something made me decide to go for a walk in the evening itself. I generally go down for my walk at night once I’m back from office or maybe after dinner. Since I go out in dark, mostly I end up walking in the pavement area circling my apartment where there is ample lighting instead of walking in the green area where there is only dim lighting. And once I went down in the daylight, I was surprised to see the place abuzz with so much of activity there. Garden was indeed very beautiful with lush green grass, swings for kids, beautiful seating arrangements within patches of greens and a lovely fountain. Yes, I had heard many times from my neighbor that the garden in our apartment is quite nice and fresh but only that day I realized how lovely it was. Also made me think that I had never come down to this area in the evenings, in fact the only time I remember checking this place was when we were moving in and had gone down to check out the facilities. Those days, that area was under construction and hence not so well maintained. I do go down to the common facility areas on weekends but mostly it’s to use the swimming pool or occasionally the gym but never ever to this beautiful place full of natural beauty, fresh air and bloom all around. And I have been staying in this apartment for like 2.5 years now!!!

Spotted this empty bench and decided to sit on it for a while before starting the walk and the whole surrounding made me so nostalgic. There were women gossiping, kids playing, old aunties sitting on grass in circles and old uncles discussing something while taking their walks; reminded me of park evenings which we used to have during our childhood days. It was actually quite lively and nice, lost in my thoughts with my ipod plugged in my ears I never realized when more than an hour slipped by. Even music seemed to be more melodious with serenity and greenery all around. Only when the phone buzzed, I actually noticed the time and realized that it’s already dark now. And guess what, I was so lost in my thoughts and engrossed in silently observing people that not even once I felt the need to update my Facebook or Twitter stream in that one hour. If it would have been just another free moment at my home or those waiting hours while on commute, I’m sure I would have been glued on to any digital screen refreshing my timeline or reading something interesting on internet.

Relaxed and refreshed, while I pressed the lift button to go back I only wondered why I didn’t come there earlier? Why we generally tend to ignore such common activities, which actually can give us some very special moments? Some pleasures are just so near to us but we are too busy to even notice it. Some things are just so simple, yet they give you such unique satisfaction. Reminds me of this quote by Paulo Coelho which I had liked so much while reading The Alchemist – “It's the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary”.

Note to self: I must go back to this place and spend some “me time” whenever I can, after all I used to enjoy doing this so much during my school and college days :-)...oh those lovely evenings in hostel when I used to spend hours reading my favorite books on garden benches...

Happiness: Absolute or Relative Quotient?

Oh yes, I'm alive people :) and was once again absconding from this space for weeks :(... Many a reasons for the same but well I will leave that for a separate post.
As of now, I'm in quite a weird mood or shall I say pissed off with some generalist attitudes. The recent one being, hearing of negative sighs with a standard statement - "Arey yaar teri kismat badi achchi hai"!

Don't know if it’s the frequency of this statement in recent times or the negativity which it exudes even from so called close people which irritates me more but whatever it is, these days this sentence really gets on to my nerves! You meet someone, he/she asks you how life is going on, gives some happening updates of his or her life, insists again and again on knowing what’s up with you and then when you reply about the updates or latest developments in your life, you get to hear - "arey wah, great to know about these. Waise kuch bhi bol yaar, teri kismat bahut achchi hai. Tujhe yeh bhi mil jata hai aur woh bhi, teri hi life sahi hai". Well, normally such sentences do not bother me but then there are times when it does. Especially when you know the effort which you had put in or the difficulties you had to face to get those things and all you can see is the gloomy expression or the negative heave of sigh which the person leaves for you!

Well, not everything can be all about kismat or luck in life. And even if it is, then why this sigh for others? I mean you also have a happy life going on then why not be happy for others too? Why it diminishes when you hear about some positive updates in others lives? Will your life be happier if you focus on what you have or will it be happier when you come to know what others don't have? Why the evaluation of your life always has to be in comparison to someone else?

Now coming down to luck, I have no idea if any such thing exists in life. At least those who know me closely esp. since childhood know the kind of struggle which I have gone through in my life. Again I am not saying that I have had one of the most difficult lives ever but yes, I know that nothing has ever come to me easily and simply out of luck. Life has never ever been easy for me; I had my own share of unimaginable losses and unexpected mayhem. Those who know me very personally can actually vouch for that. But then I also know that if I have really-really tried for something in life I have got it; maybe not everything what I wanted and not at the time when I wanted but sooner or later and in some or other form it has come to me. I also know that rarely have I felt negative in life due to happiness or success or growth of others. This does not mean I did not have my own moments of frustration or depression, I'm no saint or some ultra optimistic person but such phases have been mainly due to my own problems and not because of happiness of others. I at times wonder why I do not bother much about others; maybe the struggle of my own life keeps me busy enough to not focus on others. I’m too engrossed solving my own problems and thinking of bettering my own life instead of missing on what others have with them.

A person like me does not always like to share the problems or turbulences of my life very openly. This does not mean I’m one of the super happy persons or everything comes absolutely easily to me. Also when life is so busy for all of us, then when we meet I prefer to discuss the stuffs which can give us lighter moments in our already stressed lives. So, without knowing the complete picture or the immense endeavor which one has put in getting something in life, just do not come to conclusion as to how others’ lives are always so perfect and how yours is so miserable!

Can’t you evaluate your happiness in absolute quotient based on your own life instead of evaluating it as a relative quotient by comparing to others? I know it sounds like some theoretical gyaan or boring updesh but try avoiding this relative measurement or comparative analysis once and see the difference in your satisfaction level… I really mean it! And next time think before heaving that negative sigh for others.