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A streak of hope

It was a very hectic day today, rather a marathon day in office, whole lot of work to make me feel like a log when I returned home just now. But still a small mail, just a two liner mail was big enough to motivate me for writing this post immediately. This mail was from the editor of Kaavyanjali website that he has selected the poem of Kiran Sindhu :-). Wow, so all my efforts of pushing mom has started giving some results. After whatever happened with all of us, things have been really difficult of late. Yes, we all are struggling to live a normal life but then too even if we get one free moment we just can’t stop ourselves from going back to same thoughts, same depression…it’s a very different emotion which really can’t be put in words, a feeling of pain which is beyond any rationale, a sense of loss which is beyond any consolation, a suffering beyond expression.

But amidst all this one bigger pain which was hurting me more was to see the state of my mom, who was alive yet living the life of a stone…whose eyes were open yet completely blank…who was surviving somehow yet completely hopeless about life. How it feels to see a woman like her who has always been the single most strength of my life crumpled on bed like that! How it feels to see the guiding force of my life suddenly being directionless herself! Being the eldest child of my mom, I have been taking care of mom & my brothers from a very early age in life. Despite my life being full of struggle, I still never lost hope only because of mom’s one sentence which she always used to tell me every night, I remember instead of good night, she used to say – “kal subah bahut achchi hogi beta, kal dekhna sab theek ho jayega”. Yes life was challenging but then there was this inner belief of mom that everything will be fine & tomorrow will be a better day which helped me sail through so many ups and downs of life. And after facing so many challenges why it was difficult for me to get my mom back to her normal life? I knew she will never be normal again after Kishu & Amitesh Bhaiya but then too I wanted her to have some engagement which can divert her mind & help her get out of this depression…I tried & tried & tried to motivate her, to engage her & to involve her into her long lost passion of writing & I have been literally forcing her to learn computer, internet & typing online. Initially there was a huge resistance from her side with only one question , “kya hoga likh ke”? Still with the virtue of patience which I have got from my mom only, I used to tell her, “arey likho na, log padhenge, kahi pe publish hogi tumhari kavitayein aur tumko achcha lagega”. And her replies used to be, “rehne do, ab bas kisi tarah baki zindagi kat jaye, mujhe aur kuch nahi sikhna hai”. Hmmm... :-(

Today as soon as I came back from work I checked her mail & I called her to say that one of her poems got selected in an online forum, her initial reaction was just, “OK”. But then she called back after 2 minutes and I asked “main kaise dekhoon ki kaha pe ayi hai meri kavita, mujhe bhi internet sikhao”. I said ok & then I taught her how to open websites & showed her some hindi blogs too…After some moments of silence she said, “achcha mera bhi blog bana do aur mujhe bhi typing sikha do”….YES!!! This is what I was waiting for, so at least there is some amount of interest which she showed. Aha finally there is a streak of hope, MOM, I am not going to give up on you so soon…I am going to push you more now to learn internet & start writing again…I am sure you will get at least some purpose back in life :-)
.
P.S.: I’m sharing the links of some of my mom’s creations with readers of my blogs, if hindi literature or poetries are of your interest, do visit the following links of my mom & I’m sure your genuine feedback will help her write more:
Link to Kaavyanjali poem (yeah I know this is just another online website, but I’m happy that at least there is a start now): http://www.kaavyanjali.com/Naarii-ks.htm
Her blog which I started today: http://godhulikiran.blogspot.com/

19 comments :

Iya said...

i am so proud of u..u r the best daughter in the world..
i hope aunty continues her writting..it will surely help her..
i went to her blog and have also left a comment..

Tarun Goel said...

It was good, I read the "other" post as well, don't have to say much
Too good.

S.. Diva said...

i liked this "kal subah bahut achchi hogi beta, kal dekhna sab theek ho jayega".. i ll probably tellt his to myself everyday :-)

Meher :) said...

You are not just a good friend.. you are the best daughter indeed! :)

>:D< >:D< >:D<

Tell your mom that its not just you but friends out here too that want her to keep her mind on other things :)


[Not very good at Hindi... so don't think I will have the right things to say at her blog... :)]

Waterfox said...

Congrats!!!
Truly fantastic job.

Meanwhile. your today's avtaar is really cool :)

Kanupriya said...

@Iya: Thanks :) & Thanks for the comment on her blog, as of now she does not know how to respond so I am saying thanks on her behalf :D.

@ Tarun: Thanks :-)

@Sneha: Yea do tell, it helps.

@ Sindhu: Thanks, will surely tell her :-)

@ Abhishek: Thanks :-)

Waterfox said...

Hey, I took those two lines and put them here, without your permission.
http://shabdaarth.blogspot.com/2009/04/blog-post_28.html

I don't know how to express what these two lines are making me feel!!!

Bhargavi said...

Tough times dont last .. tough people do .. hats off ! and congrats to your mom

tellmeyourdreams said...

i am too late to comment and others have said it all but still one thing.. i think God IS there and this has given me a hope of his presence and eye on us...

Kanupriya said...

@ Abhishek: Ah, I will surely ask my mom to visit this link :-)

@ Bedazzled: Thanks for dropping by.

@ Tanvi: Hope so...

Smita said...

wow!!!

Congrats to both of you and so good that ur mom is finally taking interest in something whoch she loves...

Am proud to know u girl, I seriously am :)

~anu~ said...

Went over to Aunty's blog, it was such a nice read Kanu. You know what, i too agree with everyone else here, you are indeed the best daughter in the world! take care!

Kanupriya said...

@ Smita: Thanks :-)

@ Anu: Hey glad u liked her poem, thanks :-)

Renu said...

Kanu I am so happy for you and your mom, and she had to show the interest, couldnt do anything else when she has a daughter like you.
Hindi is my mother tongue, so I am going to read her poems now.

Suresh Kumar said...

This is the best gift a daughter can give to her mother. Bringing out the best in her....

I would have loved to read that hindi poerty. But unfortunately my knowledge of hindi is restricted to basic speaking hindi.

Congrats to you and your mom.

Kanupriya said...

@ Renu: Oh please do read & share your views with her if Hindi is of interest to you :-)

@ Suresh: Hey thanks a lot!

Maya said...

nice to know that your mom is recoving from her depression,

Jack said...

Kanupriya,

I agree. Mumbai is Mumbai and Banglore is Banglore.

I feel so moved by your efforts to bring your mother out of depression. I read her poem and visited her blogs. I can not type in Hindi, may I give my views in English?

I am looking for your views on my 2 recent posts.

This is my link here.

Take care Niceguy251

Kanupriya said...

@ Maya:thanks for dropping by.

@ NG: Will surely drop by & let you know my views.

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