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Lost Laugh!

29th May – An unforgettable day, a historic day, a day which just left us numb & shaken & blank. It’s exactly one year today since I would have had a:

A laugh,
A hearty laugh,
A carefree laugh,
A true laugh,
A loud laugh,
A wholehearted laugh,
A laugh like this;


A guilt free laugh! Yeah, today even if I laugh there is an immediate guilt, an inner guilt, a guilt of realization that I’m actually laughing without Amitesh Bhaiya & Kishu! It’s exactly one year today when Amitesh Bhaiya left us all shattered & traumatized. But as if that was not enough, God decided to take Kishu also away just after eight months, leaving me, Ma & Kaushik mourning and devastated forever. Can life change like this so much in just 1 year? Yes, it does…kya se kya ho gaya!
Bhaiji (As we used to call Amitesh Bhaiya lovingly): Saying that we miss you will be an understatement, in fact we never have forgotten you even for a moment to miss you. Remembering you today badly on this dreadful day & pray for the peace for your soul…

Note: In the pic from left to right – Amitesh Bhaiya (though not blood relative but far closer to me than my own brothers), Kaushik (my youngest brother) & Kishu (my younger brother who left us this February). This pic was taken last year when we all had met during a festival for the last time "together" at my native place.


10 comments :

Psych Babbler said...

I cannot even begin to imgaine what you must have gone through. Being fairly new to your blog I went back and read about the tragedy. As for feeling guilty when laughing, I think that is normal because life does go on inspite of us missing our loved ones and we can feel guilty for that. Take care.

Smita said...

I dunno what to say!!!

Please take care dear!!!

Medha said...

I am so very sorry for your loss!

So very very sorry!
I welled up while i read this post.

Please take care of yourself.

wsw said...

*hugs

Abhishek said...

Its the good memories which come to us in bad times!

Take care.

Kanupriya said...

@ Psych Babbler, Smita, Medha, WSW, Abhishek: Thanks!

Khushi said...

I'm so sorry to read this. But u dont need to feel guilty, life moves on. I have also gone thru the same phase when I lost my mother. Be it happy moment or sad, I always remember her but life has moved on as it is.

tellmeyourdreams said...

have no words to say how i feel after seeing that snap....may they rest in peace

Anu said...

Yeh photo dekh ke I am getting weird feelings, still can't believe Kishu is not with us, though never met Amitesh Bhaiya but knowing how close u were to him, I can't imagine how u r coping with two such big losses!Have no words to say Kanu...take care & be the same strong kanu always.U r ideal for so many like me.

ani_aset said...

oh god, feel sorry. i wish god gives you enough strength to move on

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