N insists that I should try to get back to normal life slowly…I have resumed back work but he wants me to divert my mind to those things which I used to enjoy earlier like painting, blogging, cooking etc. Even my closest friend insists me to do so & I know both of them are saying it for my benefit only. It’s for their sake that I started to write this post today…but don’t know what to write. I think I opened a blank page in the morning but all I could feel is blank and numb. Trust me N & T, I don’t know how to get back to life again…I am trying, I really am but it is difficult…difficult & difficult. I know its 31 days today, almost a month since Kishu left us but tell me, is it possible to overcome a life-long association in just 31 days? It pains, really pains deep inside, something which I can’t express in words…I can’t divert my mind to anything but to think as to how am I supposed to live my whole life without my brother without whom I couldn’t have even imagined one day of my life? Why did God decide to take such a young soul away and how am I supposed to react after seeing my stone-eyed mom who had to bear the worst pain of her life without any fault? When I could not get over the death of my friend since last 8 months, how am I supposed to deal with a loss as big as Kishu? It is excruciating & unbearable…& cruel & ... words fail!