>> Saturday, March 17, 2012
No, I’m not taking about the television serial which is currently airing these days with this title (BTW since I’m at home these days, I have started watching TV and that too a lot but let me leave this topic for a separate post). Right now I’m in a mood to rant and crib and … well, two and half months into motherhood and I have concluded that you do whatever, there is always someone who will say you should not have done “this” or how could you do “that”. No, I’m serious… you do whatever but people will have something to speak about it. For e.g.,…ummm there are actually many but let me list down this one for now:
Like most Indian families, even my family had that forty days recuperating period where a woman is supposed to follow certain set of rules after delivery. Fair enough, as even medically a woman is supposed to take rest for first six weeks and hence I was ok complying with all those rules. Though did not understand the logic behind many things like certain food restriction including healthy items esp. when medically doctors ask you to eat anything, no walk etc but still I followed everything as suggested by elders.
The first few weeks were just soooo hectic, yes the joy of motherhood is incomparable and I don’t think I can ever find enough words to express the emotions attached with motherhood but then the reality is also that this phase is tough and tiring and unpredictable and exhausting and… well those who have experienced it know what I mean. After the elder family members left, one day my husband asked me to take a break for few hours from all the baby work and relax for a while. He was observing me coping up with my new life, continuously putting in all the efforts that a new mom has to and being awake 24x7 for last seven weeks. In fact I had lots of health issues in my last trimester due to spine problem, so had not gone out anywhere apart from medical checkups for last few months. So, he wanted me to have some change just for couple of hours and knowing my love for movies he asked me how about going for one in the nearby multiplex? Initially I was apprehensive about the idea and thought it to be practically impossible but then he planned it out on behalf of me. My mom who stays in the same town had come and even she insisted that it’s perfectly fine to go out esp. because baby was asleep in the afternoon and that’s the only time of the day when he sleeps at a stretch for 2-3 hours otherwise the max he sleeps continuously is for 1 hour and then it's milk time for him. So, baby was duly fed, his next feed properly arranged and all his immediate necessity items were explained to my mom with an instruction that if he gets up and cries she should immediately call us and we would reach back in 10 minutes. Apart from mom, my brother as well as my maid was there at home. The kind of preparations and arrangements that I was doing, it looked like as if I was going out for a month. In fact my mom laughed at me and said that she is the one who had brought me up, so she could very well take care of my new born for two three hours. But she also added that she was happy to see the sincere mommy in me and how such feelings automatically come in a woman the moment she becomes a mother.
Anyways, so we went for Agneepath, getting the ticket was no big deal as movie was already running for weeks and it was an afternoon show. I loved the movie and more than that loved the free time I got. It was a pleasant change and in all my excitement I went and posted it on Facebook. Lo and behold, here I dug my own grave. While some were happy that I could manage to go out, most of them pounced back on me with a glaring “how could I”!!! From phone calls to FB messages, from acquaintances to relatives, almost everybody in the same accusatory tone – “how could I! I left a one and half month old baby and went for a movie!!!” Oh yes, it did sound like the biggest sin one could ever commit in the history of mankind. And thanks to same messages being communicated again and again, after sometime even I thought, oh yes how could I. There was this guilt trip suddenly within me, blame it to all the emotional hormones, which are anyways hyperactive during early stages of motherhood. Though when I discussed this with my husband, he had one plain simple statement – what the heck! We discussed and discussed and yes he was right – what the heck!
- After all, the baby was not left just like that, wasn’t my mother whom I trust the most there at home to take care of him?
- It was sleep time for the baby and by the time we came back, wasn’t he sleeping peacefully with a lovely smile on his face?
- Weren’t all his necessities duly pre-arranged and explained to mom?
- The multiplex was at a distance of hardly 2 kms from my home, so one phone call from mom and wouldn’t have we reached back in max 10 mins?
Well, everybody has their own ways of relaxing and instead of cribbing or sleeping, it’s actually a good movie for us. That one short break refreshed me more than what a nap or anything else could have done. Then why not take that break, get revived and take care of the baby with a happy smile? I would any day prefer to do something within possible limits which can energize me and enjoy this phase happily instead of just cribbing forever that a baby changes the life of a woman forever and alas life will never be the same! Trust me guys, motherhood is anyways so tough but I think it has been made tougher by all these so called “how could you” kinda people around us. And this is just one incident, I have actually many to share where all the efforts have been ridiculously questioned with more ridiculous “how could yous”. Maybe I would list them down in different posts later, as of now I have concluded it once again – kuch toh log kahenge, logo ka kaam hai…. Kya, of course “kehna” ;-)
P.S: Phew finished this post in more than ten sittings, thanks to the attention span, which little one allows me these days. The moment I sit with my laptop, he gives me a killer smile and well here goes the laptop for a toss and mommy gets lost in his smile and aaooos, aagooss, geeesss etc :-)