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The New Stuff

Devi Ma jaldi se tumhe ek beta de!

Question to all married women (esp. the ones who are yet to enter motherhood): Have you ever been blessed with something like, “may God bless you with a healthy and hearty daughter”. At least I have not been, not even once!

I know we have discussed it enough and many including me have expressed million times our dissatisfaction over this bias that happens in our so-called progressive society till date. In fact I have given up on arguing on this topic of male child obsession, it’s only me and my husband know as to how much delighted we would be if we will have a baby girl whenever we will have our child. And I really-really mean it, nothing can compare to the joy of having a cute and caring daughter. We always say we will be really happy to have a healthy baby but super joyous if it turns out to be a daughter. Then why am I writing on this topic again today? Well, because of these two incidents which happened yesterday:

A lady not too old and from her personality you cant even call her orthodox blessing me like this (verbatim quoted): “Mata Rani jaldi se tumhe ek swastha beta de, bas devi maiya se yahi prarthna hai ek beta aa jaye tumhare god mein”. Hmmm…I just silently smiled. Then her next discussion with my mom was another cherry on top. She explained a whole puja ritual that is done during Navratri festival to have a beta. And how this puja is a sure shot method to be blessed with a son, if you follow all these XYZ instructions Goddess Durga will indeed bless you with a son only! Mom also smiled and replied, “bhagwaan inlogo ko ek sawasth santaan de, phir beta ho ya beti kya fark padta hai”. But that lady kept on & on & on explaining whatever... with a conclusive statement “aap ek baar karke toh dekhiye, dekhiyega jaldi hi beta aayega, beta"! And no that lady was not some old haggard conservative granny, she was a middle aged woman, educated and working as well!

Another person who works at a senior position in a corporate announced his leave citing reasons of his trip to Vaishno Devi temple up north. He is going even in the rush season of Navratri as Goddess has fulfilled his wish. Mr. X just got a son few weeks back and would you believe if I say it’s his third child? Yes, a third child in this generation and no points for guessing that earlier two kids aged 11 & 7 are girls! Though he never mentioned it explicitly but this question was there on almost everybody’s face when he had announced the arrival of his son as to how come a third child in this age esp. when he already has two angel like daughters? Nevertheless, neither it was asked directly and nor it was our business to interfere in his matters. But Mr. X definitely has the nerves to accept that son was his mannat from Devi Mata and he is trekking all the way up as Goddess has fulfilled his wish.

Wow, so you pray to a Devi Mata who is actually a woman to bless you with a male child? You’re asked to keep a fast during Navratri and do numerous rituals to offer your prayers to Mata Rani so that she can bless you with a son? You believe in the Shakti of a Goddess, in the power of a woman to fulfill your any wish, yet when it comes to ask for a child you ask for a son! You have faith in a woman but ask her only for a male heirInteresting & ironical isn’t it :-) ?

All you educated and supposedly broad-minded people from my society – I know seeking a blessing to have a daughter is unfathomable and asking like too much. But least you can do is bless a lady to have a healthy child. If you can’t utter the words "Devi Ma tumhe ek sunder si beti de", then you don’t even have to say to have a beta… “swastha santaan” or a “healthy child” makes much more sense. Accept the child as the best gift that you can get and let the decision of giving you a beta or beti be better left to Almighty!


10 comments :

Psych Babbler™ said...

That's the stuff I don't get Kanupriya! Hinduism is the only religion where there are female gods and yet, people pray to these females and revere them and ask for sons! WTF?! I get so annoyed with such people and haven't yet learnt to keep my mouth shut! Like you, when the time comes, I'd actually like to have a daughter.

KParthasarathi said...

Beautifully written with a touch of humour at the propensity to wish a son.It brought smile in my face.A friend of mine who has three sons told me that
Sons are till marriage
Daughters are for ever.
I feel daughters are always caring and affectionate.

Renu said...

I nevr agreed to any biases.and I was very happy when my daughter was born, and today I would be happiest if my children get a little angel girl.
having said that I would say that family feels more complete if you have both, daughter and son, and both are missed equally.

Regarding that executive, I am really happy for him, I think that if people can afford they should have three children..otherwise we shall nevr have all those chachas, mamas aur mausis and buas.

Sumana said...

I swear this really puts one off especially pre kiddo days. I have gone thru this. I have a daughter and a son. I really do not see what sons do and daughter cannot. I try and raise them like they are either 2 girls or 2 boys. All we need is a healthy baby boy or girl should not matter. But I had a friend whose mom was so tensed till her delivery. We used to wonder that she was tensed about how things will go for her daughter or so. But this was her second time. Her first was a girl. After the boy was born, she went around telling everyone distributing sweets and everything. Which is fine but her intentions were different. She told her daughter that i might have to leave if it is a daughter the second time . I was shell shocked. How can a mom say this? She was worried how she would face her daughter's inlaws. I do not know how much education changes such people and for one she is a double graduate.

Abhishek said...

one of my friends who is expecting wants a son because "I can't do shopping for girls" :)

Tarun Goel said...

LOL. Devi maa tumko ek beta de de ;)

liveonimpulse said...

i can totally understand your perspective Kanupriya..this is something i get to hear ever so often !! Some mindsets just refuse to change

Jack said...

Kanupriya,

I agree with you in toto. We are yet to come off this mindset. This may take another century to come out of this. Though I will not claim to set right trend but I always tell a young bride that May God bless you, at times adding happiness.

Take care

PS : Left comment in previous post too. Miss your valuable views in my space.

Aathira said...

Oh I agree... its super irritating. I hate the whole son thing. I wanted a daughter, and I happened to tell that to my MIL also. I do not know what is her whole take on it... but I said it cooly and never thought much about it. But, within me, I knew that maybe she would surely prefer a grand son. But, I wanted a daughter and thats about it..

PS: Came here through Monika's blog :)

WSW said...

Same thing. Random people bless you at your wedding for a beta or giving pota to in laws. Gets me all hot in the head.

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