No, I’m not taking about the television serial which is currently airing these days with this title (BTW since I’m at home these days, I have started watching TV and that too a lot but let me leave this topic for a separate post). Right now I’m in a mood to rant and crib and … well, two and half months into motherhood and I have concluded that you do whatever, there is always someone who will say you should not have done “this” or how could you do “that”. No, I’m serious… you do whatever but people will have something to speak about it. For e.g.,…ummm there are actually many but let me list down this one for now:

Like most Indian families, even my family had that forty days recuperating period where a woman is supposed to follow certain set of rules after delivery. Fair enough, as even medically a woman is supposed to take rest for first six weeks and hence I was ok complying with all those rules. Though did not understand the logic behind many things like certain food restriction including healthy items esp. when medically doctors ask you to eat anything, no walk etc but still I followed everything as suggested by elders.

The first few weeks were just soooo hectic, yes the joy of motherhood is incomparable and I don’t think I can ever find enough words to express the emotions attached with motherhood but then the reality is also that this phase is tough and tiring and unpredictable and exhausting and… well those who have experienced it know what I mean. After the elder family members left, one day my husband asked me to take a break for few hours from all the baby work and relax for a while. He was observing me coping up with my new life, continuously putting in all the efforts that a new mom has to and being awake 24x7 for last seven weeks. In fact I had lots of health issues in my last trimester due to spine problem, so had not gone out anywhere apart from medical checkups for last few months. So, he wanted me to have some change just for couple of hours and knowing my love for movies he asked me how about going for one in the nearby multiplex? Initially I was apprehensive about the idea and thought it to be practically impossible but then he planned it out on behalf of me. My mom who stays in the same town had come and even she insisted that it’s perfectly fine to go out esp. because baby was asleep in the afternoon and that’s the only time of the day when he sleeps at a stretch for 2-3 hours otherwise the max he sleeps continuously is for 1 hour and then it's milk time for him. So, baby was duly fed, his next feed properly arranged and all his immediate necessity items were explained to my mom with an instruction that if he gets up and cries she should immediately call us and we would reach back in 10 minutes. Apart from mom, my brother as well as my maid was there at home. The kind of preparations and arrangements that I was doing, it looked like as if I was going out for a month. In fact my mom laughed at me and said that she is the one who had brought me up, so she could very well take care of my new born for two three hours. But she also added that she was happy to see the sincere mommy in me and how such feelings automatically come in a woman the moment she becomes a mother.

Anyways, so we went for Agneepath, getting the ticket was no big deal as movie was already running for weeks and it was an afternoon show. I loved the movie and more than that loved the free time I got. It was a pleasant change and in all my excitement I went and posted it on Facebook. Lo and behold, here I dug my own grave. While some were happy that I could manage to go out, most of them pounced back on me with a glaring “how could I”!!! From phone calls to FB messages, from acquaintances to relatives, almost everybody in the same accusatory tone – “how could I! I left a one and half month old baby and went for a movie!!!” Oh yes, it did sound like the biggest sin one could ever commit in the history of mankind. And thanks to same messages being communicated again and again, after sometime even I thought, oh yes how could I. There was this guilt trip suddenly within me, blame it to all the emotional hormones, which are anyways hyperactive during early stages of motherhood. Though when I discussed this with my husband, he had one plain simple statement – what the heck! We discussed and discussed and yes he was right – what the heck!

• After all, the baby was not left just like that, wasn’t my mother whom I trust the most there at home to take care of him?
• It was sleep time for the baby and by the time we came back, wasn’t he sleeping peacefully with a lovely smile on his face?
• Weren’t all his necessities duly pre-arranged and explained to mom?
• The multiplex was at a distance of hardly 2 kms from my home, so one phone call from mom and wouldn’t have we reached back in max 10 mins?

Well, everybody has their own ways of relaxing and instead of cribbing or sleeping, it’s actually a good movie for us. That one short break refreshed me more than what a nap or anything else could have done. Then why not take that break, get revived and take care of the baby with a happy smile? I would any day prefer to do something within possible limits which can energize me and enjoy this phase happily instead of just cribbing forever that a baby changes the life of a woman forever and alas life will never be the same! Trust me guys, motherhood is anyways so tough but I think it has been made tougher by all these so called “how could you” kinda people around us. And this is just one incident, I have actually many to share where all the efforts have been ridiculously questioned with more ridiculous “how could yous”. Maybe I would list them down in different posts later, as of now I have concluded it once again – kuch toh log kahenge, logo ka kaam hai…. Kya, of course “kehna” ;-)

P.S: Phew finished this post in more than ten sittings, thanks to the attention span, which little one allows me these days. The moment I sit with my laptop, he gives me a killer smile and well here goes the laptop for a toss and mommy gets lost in his smile and aaooos, aagooss, geeesss etc :-)

Just Generally · Mommydom · motherhood · New Mommy

Kuch toh log kahenge...

No, I’m not taking about the television serial which is currently airing these days with this title (BTW since I’m at home these days, I have started watching TV and that too a lot but let me leave this topic for a separate post). Right now I’m in a mood to rant and crib and … well, two and half months into motherhood and I have concluded that you do whatever, there is always someone who will say you should not have done “this” or how could you do “that”. No, I’m serious… you do whatever but people will have something to speak about it. For e.g.,…ummm there are actually many but let me list down this one for now:

Like most Indian families, even my family had that forty days recuperating period where a woman is supposed to follow certain set of rules after delivery. Fair enough, as even medically a woman is supposed to take rest for first six weeks and hence I was ok complying with all those rules. Though did not understand the logic behind many things like certain food restriction including healthy items esp. when medically doctors ask you to eat anything, no walk etc but still I followed everything as suggested by elders.

The first few weeks were just soooo hectic, yes the joy of motherhood is incomparable and I don’t think I can ever find enough words to express the emotions attached with motherhood but then the reality is also that this phase is tough and tiring and unpredictable and exhausting and… well those who have experienced it know what I mean. After the elder family members left, one day my husband asked me to take a break for few hours from all the baby work and relax for a while. He was observing me coping up with my new life, continuously putting in all the efforts that a new mom has to and being awake 24x7 for last seven weeks. In fact I had lots of health issues in my last trimester due to spine problem, so had not gone out anywhere apart from medical checkups for last few months. So, he wanted me to have some change just for couple of hours and knowing my love for movies he asked me how about going for one in the nearby multiplex? Initially I was apprehensive about the idea and thought it to be practically impossible but then he planned it out on behalf of me. My mom who stays in the same town had come and even she insisted that it’s perfectly fine to go out esp. because baby was asleep in the afternoon and that’s the only time of the day when he sleeps at a stretch for 2-3 hours otherwise the max he sleeps continuously is for 1 hour and then it's milk time for him. So, baby was duly fed, his next feed properly arranged and all his immediate necessity items were explained to my mom with an instruction that if he gets up and cries she should immediately call us and we would reach back in 10 minutes. Apart from mom, my brother as well as my maid was there at home. The kind of preparations and arrangements that I was doing, it looked like as if I was going out for a month. In fact my mom laughed at me and said that she is the one who had brought me up, so she could very well take care of my new born for two three hours. But she also added that she was happy to see the sincere mommy in me and how such feelings automatically come in a woman the moment she becomes a mother.

Anyways, so we went for Agneepath, getting the ticket was no big deal as movie was already running for weeks and it was an afternoon show. I loved the movie and more than that loved the free time I got. It was a pleasant change and in all my excitement I went and posted it on Facebook. Lo and behold, here I dug my own grave. While some were happy that I could manage to go out, most of them pounced back on me with a glaring “how could I”!!! From phone calls to FB messages, from acquaintances to relatives, almost everybody in the same accusatory tone – “how could I! I left a one and half month old baby and went for a movie!!!” Oh yes, it did sound like the biggest sin one could ever commit in the history of mankind. And thanks to same messages being communicated again and again, after sometime even I thought, oh yes how could I. There was this guilt trip suddenly within me, blame it to all the emotional hormones, which are anyways hyperactive during early stages of motherhood. Though when I discussed this with my husband, he had one plain simple statement – what the heck! We discussed and discussed and yes he was right – what the heck!

• After all, the baby was not left just like that, wasn’t my mother whom I trust the most there at home to take care of him?
• It was sleep time for the baby and by the time we came back, wasn’t he sleeping peacefully with a lovely smile on his face?
• Weren’t all his necessities duly pre-arranged and explained to mom?
• The multiplex was at a distance of hardly 2 kms from my home, so one phone call from mom and wouldn’t have we reached back in max 10 mins?

Well, everybody has their own ways of relaxing and instead of cribbing or sleeping, it’s actually a good movie for us. That one short break refreshed me more than what a nap or anything else could have done. Then why not take that break, get revived and take care of the baby with a happy smile? I would any day prefer to do something within possible limits which can energize me and enjoy this phase happily instead of just cribbing forever that a baby changes the life of a woman forever and alas life will never be the same! Trust me guys, motherhood is anyways so tough but I think it has been made tougher by all these so called “how could you” kinda people around us. And this is just one incident, I have actually many to share where all the efforts have been ridiculously questioned with more ridiculous “how could yous”. Maybe I would list them down in different posts later, as of now I have concluded it once again – kuch toh log kahenge, logo ka kaam hai…. Kya, of course “kehna” ;-)

P.S: Phew finished this post in more than ten sittings, thanks to the attention span, which little one allows me these days. The moment I sit with my laptop, he gives me a killer smile and well here goes the laptop for a toss and mommy gets lost in his smile and aaooos, aagooss, geeesss etc :-)

Got this as an email forward and just loved it! I so wish I could know who actually wrote it first. I think all new parents would be able to relate to it and those with grown up kids would surely feel nostalgic after reading this :-).

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

Please keep this letter from me in a place where you can read it and re-read it when things are rough and you are feeling down.

1. Please don't expect too much from me as a newborn baby, or too much from yourselves as parents. Give us both six weeks as a birthday present, six weeks for me to grow, develop, mature, and become more stable and predictable - six weeks for you to rest and relax and allow your body to get back to normal.

2. Please feed me when I am hungry, I never knew hunger in your womb and clocks and time mean little to me.

3. Please hold, cuddle, kiss, touch, stroke, and croon to me. I was always held closely in your womb and have never been alone before.

4. Please forgive me if I cry a lot. I am not a tyrant who was sent to make your life miserable, the only way I can tell you I am not happy is with my cry, bear with me and in a short time, as I mature, I will spend less time crying and more time socializing

5. Please take the time to find out who I am, how I differ from you and how much I can bring you. Watch me carefully and I'll tell things which sooth, console and please me.

6. Please remember that I am resilient and can withstand the many natural mistakes you'll make with me. As long as you make them with love, I cannot be harmed.

7. Please don't be disappointed when I am not the perfect baby you expected nor be disappointed with yourselves when you are not the perfect parents.

8. Please take care yourself; eat a balanced diet, rest, and exercise so that when we are together you have the patience and energy to take care of me. The cure for a fussy baby is more rest for Mom.

9. Please take care of your relationship with each other. What good is family bonding if there is no family left for me to bond with.

10. Keep the "big picture" in mind. I'll be like this for a very short time, though is seems like forever to you now. Although I may have turned your life upside down, please remind yourselves that things will be back to normal before long.

Enjoy me - I'll never be this little again!

- Yours.

Ain't it just sooooo touching?

Just Generally · Mommydom · motherhood

Letter from Baby to Mum-n-Dad

Got this as an email forward and just loved it! I so wish I could know who actually wrote it first. I think all new parents would be able to relate to it and those with grown up kids would surely feel nostalgic after reading this :-).

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

Please keep this letter from me in a place where you can read it and re-read it when things are rough and you are feeling down.

1. Please don't expect too much from me as a newborn baby, or too much from yourselves as parents. Give us both six weeks as a birthday present, six weeks for me to grow, develop, mature, and become more stable and predictable - six weeks for you to rest and relax and allow your body to get back to normal.

2. Please feed me when I am hungry, I never knew hunger in your womb and clocks and time mean little to me.

3. Please hold, cuddle, kiss, touch, stroke, and croon to me. I was always held closely in your womb and have never been alone before.

4. Please forgive me if I cry a lot. I am not a tyrant who was sent to make your life miserable, the only way I can tell you I am not happy is with my cry, bear with me and in a short time, as I mature, I will spend less time crying and more time socializing

5. Please take the time to find out who I am, how I differ from you and how much I can bring you. Watch me carefully and I'll tell things which sooth, console and please me.

6. Please remember that I am resilient and can withstand the many natural mistakes you'll make with me. As long as you make them with love, I cannot be harmed.

7. Please don't be disappointed when I am not the perfect baby you expected nor be disappointed with yourselves when you are not the perfect parents.

8. Please take care yourself; eat a balanced diet, rest, and exercise so that when we are together you have the patience and energy to take care of me. The cure for a fussy baby is more rest for Mom.

9. Please take care of your relationship with each other. What good is family bonding if there is no family left for me to bond with.

10. Keep the "big picture" in mind. I'll be like this for a very short time, though is seems like forever to you now. Although I may have turned your life upside down, please remind yourselves that things will be back to normal before long.

Enjoy me - I'll never be this little again!

- Yours.

Ain't it just sooooo touching?

Santa arrived with quite a clatter

we had to wake to see what was the matter

What a precious gift he left this year

a bundle of joy we love so dear!

Happy to introduce my li'll bundle of joy to all my readers, I've been blessed with a baby boy this year. On this last day of 2011, I'm actually an 11 day old mommy now :), still can't believe it but yes I'm :). 2011 has indeed been the most special year for me & my family, hope 2012 will be as blissful and joyous like last year.

While the li'll one is keeping me on my toes, I just managed to sneak in five minutes to wish all of you a very happy and prosperous new year. Have a great & wonderful year ahead!

Phew, this is all I can manage to post while the new daddy is playing with the baby. Time to get back to my new life now :). Will be back with my new set of experiences as and when I can manage time.

P.S: These are the first pair of shoes of the li'll one gifted by his nani. Gawd, I think I have never been as obsessed with any of my shoes, as much I've been with this li'll pair :). Have kept it on my bedside table like a piece of decoration :P

Just Generally · Mommydom · motherhood · New Mommy

Santa did actually come to our home this year :)

Santa arrived with quite a clatter

we had to wake to see what was the matter

What a precious gift he left this year

a bundle of joy we love so dear!

Happy to introduce my li'll bundle of joy to all my readers, I've been blessed with a baby boy this year. On this last day of 2011, I'm actually an 11 day old mommy now :), still can't believe it but yes I'm :). 2011 has indeed been the most special year for me & my family, hope 2012 will be as blissful and joyous like last year.

While the li'll one is keeping me on my toes, I just managed to sneak in five minutes to wish all of you a very happy and prosperous new year. Have a great & wonderful year ahead!

Phew, this is all I can manage to post while the new daddy is playing with the baby. Time to get back to my new life now :). Will be back with my new set of experiences as and when I can manage time.

P.S: These are the first pair of shoes of the li'll one gifted by his nani. Gawd, I think I have never been as obsessed with any of my shoes, as much I've been with this li'll pair :). Have kept it on my bedside table like a piece of decoration :P

Don’t remember when was the last time I got so hooked on to any book that I took all-nighter efforts to finish a fiction series. Shiva Trilogy is indeed one of those which got glued me to it like crazy. And thank God, I did not read these two books separately. I had missed to read the first one when it was released. So, when there was buzz about ‘The Secrets of the Nagas’ getting released, that’s when I actually picked up ‘The Immortals of Meluha’. Otherwise had I read these two titles separately, can’t imagine the restlessness that I had to go through about ‘what happened to Sati’.

Set in 1900 BC, 'The Immortals of Meluha' is the first book of Shiva Trilogy series written by Amish Tripathi. What we modern Indians call the Indus Valley Civilization, the inhabitants of that period called it the land of Meluha a near perfect empire created many centuries earlier by Lord Ram, one of the greatest monarchs that ever lived. This once proud empire and its Suryavanshi rulers face severe perils as its primary river, the revered Saraswati, is slowly drying to extinction. They also face devastating terrorist attacks from the east, the land of the Chandravanshis. To make matters worse, the Chandravanshis appear to have allied with the Nagas, an ostracized and sinister race of deformed humans with astonishing martial skills! Amidst all this chaos, here appears a Tibetian immigrant who as per legends will be their savior, their God – the Neelkanth. But is this immigrant ‘SHIVA’ a normal human being prepared to handle the same? This book is the story of SHIVA, an ordinary man whose karma actually made him MAHADEV – God of Gods.

What I liked about the book:

• The Presentation. It’s actually a mythological story but presented as fiction with its own share of thriller, romance and action. I mean the way author has presented this story is absolutely commendable!
• The characterizations – from Shiva to Parvati to Brihaspati everybody has been sketched out in a unique way. Though we are aware of these characters but this book gives lots of interesting information about them that actually personifies them as real flesh and blood human beings.
• The details, I absolutely loved the knowledge it provides on our old civilizations and ancient India. Not everything is fiction, lots actually hold true as per our history and mythology.
• The theme, which makes you believe that one can become God only by actions and nothing else. The whole concept of “Har Har Mahadev” which reinforces that there is a God in everyone.
• Last but the most important one - the plot! It’s racy, engaging, page-turner, fascinating and totally gripping till the end.

What I didn’t like about the book:

• Actually nothing strongly negative about this book except the language that too only at some places. Maybe at places I found Shiva’s language to be too casual but then you know it might be because of the fact that somewhere in our brain Shiva is ingrained as God, so called Bhagwaan Shivji and that’s why his casual approach in some situations like his initial encounters with Sati might seem bit odd . It’s more to do with perception I think :-)

Overall, a very interesting and must-must-must read book. It’s not in news unnecessarily; it deserves to be a bestseller. I will be back with my views on second book of this series in my next post. Till then, tell me did you read the book and did you like it?

Book Review · Books · Immortals of Meluha · Shiva Trilogy

The Immortals of Meluha: Book Review

Don’t remember when was the last time I got so hooked on to any book that I took all-nighter efforts to finish a fiction series. Shiva Trilogy is indeed one of those which got glued me to it like crazy. And thank God, I did not read these two books separately. I had missed to read the first one when it was released. So, when there was buzz about ‘The Secrets of the Nagas’ getting released, that’s when I actually picked up ‘The Immortals of Meluha’. Otherwise had I read these two titles separately, can’t imagine the restlessness that I had to go through about ‘what happened to Sati’.

Set in 1900 BC, 'The Immortals of Meluha' is the first book of Shiva Trilogy series written by Amish Tripathi. What we modern Indians call the Indus Valley Civilization, the inhabitants of that period called it the land of Meluha a near perfect empire created many centuries earlier by Lord Ram, one of the greatest monarchs that ever lived. This once proud empire and its Suryavanshi rulers face severe perils as its primary river, the revered Saraswati, is slowly drying to extinction. They also face devastating terrorist attacks from the east, the land of the Chandravanshis. To make matters worse, the Chandravanshis appear to have allied with the Nagas, an ostracized and sinister race of deformed humans with astonishing martial skills! Amidst all this chaos, here appears a Tibetian immigrant who as per legends will be their savior, their God – the Neelkanth. But is this immigrant ‘SHIVA’ a normal human being prepared to handle the same? This book is the story of SHIVA, an ordinary man whose karma actually made him MAHADEV – God of Gods.

What I liked about the book:

• The Presentation. It’s actually a mythological story but presented as fiction with its own share of thriller, romance and action. I mean the way author has presented this story is absolutely commendable!
• The characterizations – from Shiva to Parvati to Brihaspati everybody has been sketched out in a unique way. Though we are aware of these characters but this book gives lots of interesting information about them that actually personifies them as real flesh and blood human beings.
• The details, I absolutely loved the knowledge it provides on our old civilizations and ancient India. Not everything is fiction, lots actually hold true as per our history and mythology.
• The theme, which makes you believe that one can become God only by actions and nothing else. The whole concept of “Har Har Mahadev” which reinforces that there is a God in everyone.
• Last but the most important one - the plot! It’s racy, engaging, page-turner, fascinating and totally gripping till the end.

What I didn’t like about the book:

• Actually nothing strongly negative about this book except the language that too only at some places. Maybe at places I found Shiva’s language to be too casual but then you know it might be because of the fact that somewhere in our brain Shiva is ingrained as God, so called Bhagwaan Shivji and that’s why his casual approach in some situations like his initial encounters with Sati might seem bit odd . It’s more to do with perception I think :-)

Overall, a very interesting and must-must-must read book. It’s not in news unnecessarily; it deserves to be a bestseller. I will be back with my views on second book of this series in my next post. Till then, tell me did you read the book and did you like it?

So, hows everyone doing? Hope the festive season is going great and you all had a sparkling Diwali. Diwali was good for me too with beautiful lights, colorful flowers, yum food and sans crackers. Yes, for some strange reason this time I didn't burn even one single cracker. Not that I'm fond of noisy bombs but i always loved those bright fireworks like flowerpots or fire-wheels, though this year I was not attracted to even those. Not sure of the reason - maybe health or maybe mood or maybe the general repulsion towards noise pollution. But like always, I did decorate my home with beautiful diyas and flower arrangements. Decorating my home esp. for festivals is something which I really-really enjoy doing ever since my childhood and after marriage it has an added charm as husband dear eagerly waits for me to dress up our home with my hand made art pieces and as per my design preferences. So, this year it was no different as far as this part is concerned, by evening I was damn tired but loved every bit of adding festive charm to our house. Maybe I will do a photo post on it sometime soon :).

Till my next post, here's wishing you all a very bright & jovial festive season! Celebrate these moments of life and make such occasions special for you and your loved ones. May God bless you all with lotsa happiness, peace and prosperity!

I shall be back soon with reviews of my recent reads. I actually managed to read some really good books recently, so next post has to be on books :).

Just Generally

Happy Festivities!

So, hows everyone doing? Hope the festive season is going great and you all had a sparkling Diwali. Diwali was good for me too with beautiful lights, colorful flowers, yum food and sans crackers. Yes, for some strange reason this time I didn't burn even one single cracker. Not that I'm fond of noisy bombs but i always loved those bright fireworks like flowerpots or fire-wheels, though this year I was not attracted to even those. Not sure of the reason - maybe health or maybe mood or maybe the general repulsion towards noise pollution. But like always, I did decorate my home with beautiful diyas and flower arrangements. Decorating my home esp. for festivals is something which I really-really enjoy doing ever since my childhood and after marriage it has an added charm as husband dear eagerly waits for me to dress up our home with my hand made art pieces and as per my design preferences. So, this year it was no different as far as this part is concerned, by evening I was damn tired but loved every bit of adding festive charm to our house. Maybe I will do a photo post on it sometime soon :).

Till my next post, here's wishing you all a very bright & jovial festive season! Celebrate these moments of life and make such occasions special for you and your loved ones. May God bless you all with lotsa happiness, peace and prosperity!

I shall be back soon with reviews of my recent reads. I actually managed to read some really good books recently, so next post has to be on books :).

Question to all married women (esp. the ones who are yet to enter motherhood): Have you ever been blessed with something like, “may God bless you with a healthy and hearty daughter”. At least I have not been, not even once!

I know we have discussed it enough and many including me have expressed million times our dissatisfaction over this bias that happens in our so-called progressive society till date. In fact I have given up on arguing on this topic of male child obsession, it’s only me and my husband know as to how much delighted we would be if we will have a baby girl whenever we will have our child. And I really-really mean it, nothing can compare to the joy of having a cute and caring daughter. We always say we will be really happy to have a healthy baby but super joyous if it turns out to be a daughter. Then why am I writing on this topic again today? Well, because of these two incidents which happened yesterday:

A lady not too old and from her personality you cant even call her orthodox blessing me like this (verbatim quoted): “Mata Rani jaldi se tumhe ek swastha beta de, bas devi maiya se yahi prarthna hai ek beta aa jaye tumhare god mein”. Hmmm…I just silently smiled. Then her next discussion with my mom was another cherry on top. She explained a whole puja ritual that is done during Navratri festival to have a beta. And how this puja is a sure shot method to be blessed with a son, if you follow all these XYZ instructions Goddess Durga will indeed bless you with a son only! Mom also smiled and replied, “bhagwaan inlogo ko ek sawasth santaan de, phir beta ho ya beti kya fark padta hai”. But that lady kept on & on & on explaining whatever... with a conclusive statement “aap ek baar karke toh dekhiye, dekhiyega jaldi hi beta aayega, beta"! And no that lady was not some old haggard conservative granny, she was a middle aged woman, educated and working as well!

Another person who works at a senior position in a corporate announced his leave citing reasons of his trip to Vaishno Devi temple up north. He is going even in the rush season of Navratri as Goddess has fulfilled his wish. Mr. X just got a son few weeks back and would you believe if I say it’s his third child? Yes, a third child in this generation and no points for guessing that earlier two kids aged 11 & 7 are girls! Though he never mentioned it explicitly but this question was there on almost everybody’s face when he had announced the arrival of his son as to how come a third child in this age esp. when he already has two angel like daughters? Nevertheless, neither it was asked directly and nor it was our business to interfere in his matters. But Mr. X definitely has the nerves to accept that son was his mannat from Devi Mata and he is trekking all the way up as Goddess has fulfilled his wish.

Wow, so you pray to a Devi Mata who is actually a woman to bless you with a male child? You’re asked to keep a fast during Navratri and do numerous rituals to offer your prayers to Mata Rani so that she can bless you with a son? You believe in the Shakti of a Goddess, in the power of a woman to fulfill your any wish, yet when it comes to ask for a child you ask for a son! You have faith in a woman but ask her only for a male heir … Interesting & ironical isn’t it :-) ?

All you educated and supposedly broad-minded people from my society – I know seeking a blessing to have a daughter is unfathomable and asking like too much. But least you can do is bless a lady to have a healthy child. If you can’t utter the words "Devi Ma tumhe ek sunder si beti de", then you don’t even have to say to have a beta… “swastha santaan” or a “healthy child” makes much more sense. Accept the child as the best gift that you can get and let the decision of giving you a beta or beti be better left to Almighty!

Girl Child · Indian Society · Musings

Devi Ma jaldi se tumhe ek beta de!

Question to all married women (esp. the ones who are yet to enter motherhood): Have you ever been blessed with something like, “may God bless you with a healthy and hearty daughter”. At least I have not been, not even once!

I know we have discussed it enough and many including me have expressed million times our dissatisfaction over this bias that happens in our so-called progressive society till date. In fact I have given up on arguing on this topic of male child obsession, it’s only me and my husband know as to how much delighted we would be if we will have a baby girl whenever we will have our child. And I really-really mean it, nothing can compare to the joy of having a cute and caring daughter. We always say we will be really happy to have a healthy baby but super joyous if it turns out to be a daughter. Then why am I writing on this topic again today? Well, because of these two incidents which happened yesterday:

A lady not too old and from her personality you cant even call her orthodox blessing me like this (verbatim quoted): “Mata Rani jaldi se tumhe ek swastha beta de, bas devi maiya se yahi prarthna hai ek beta aa jaye tumhare god mein”. Hmmm…I just silently smiled. Then her next discussion with my mom was another cherry on top. She explained a whole puja ritual that is done during Navratri festival to have a beta. And how this puja is a sure shot method to be blessed with a son, if you follow all these XYZ instructions Goddess Durga will indeed bless you with a son only! Mom also smiled and replied, “bhagwaan inlogo ko ek sawasth santaan de, phir beta ho ya beti kya fark padta hai”. But that lady kept on & on & on explaining whatever... with a conclusive statement “aap ek baar karke toh dekhiye, dekhiyega jaldi hi beta aayega, beta"! And no that lady was not some old haggard conservative granny, she was a middle aged woman, educated and working as well!

Another person who works at a senior position in a corporate announced his leave citing reasons of his trip to Vaishno Devi temple up north. He is going even in the rush season of Navratri as Goddess has fulfilled his wish. Mr. X just got a son few weeks back and would you believe if I say it’s his third child? Yes, a third child in this generation and no points for guessing that earlier two kids aged 11 & 7 are girls! Though he never mentioned it explicitly but this question was there on almost everybody’s face when he had announced the arrival of his son as to how come a third child in this age esp. when he already has two angel like daughters? Nevertheless, neither it was asked directly and nor it was our business to interfere in his matters. But Mr. X definitely has the nerves to accept that son was his mannat from Devi Mata and he is trekking all the way up as Goddess has fulfilled his wish.

Wow, so you pray to a Devi Mata who is actually a woman to bless you with a male child? You’re asked to keep a fast during Navratri and do numerous rituals to offer your prayers to Mata Rani so that she can bless you with a son? You believe in the Shakti of a Goddess, in the power of a woman to fulfill your any wish, yet when it comes to ask for a child you ask for a son! You have faith in a woman but ask her only for a male heir … Interesting & ironical isn’t it :-) ?

All you educated and supposedly broad-minded people from my society – I know seeking a blessing to have a daughter is unfathomable and asking like too much. But least you can do is bless a lady to have a healthy child. If you can’t utter the words "Devi Ma tumhe ek sunder si beti de", then you don’t even have to say to have a beta… “swastha santaan” or a “healthy child” makes much more sense. Accept the child as the best gift that you can get and let the decision of giving you a beta or beti be better left to Almighty!

Yesterday evening had a chance to return early from work and that too during daylight. While nearing the lift I noticed lots of happy kids playing and running around. Well, to be honest I had no idea that there are so many kids in my apartment and even kids of today’s generation go out and play games like hide & seek in playgrounds! From their chirpiness and conversations it looked like they were playing hide & seek itself with few of them hidden in the basement car parking area. When I reached my floor, just outside the lift saw these two young girls of neighborhood family clapping hands and playing Miss Mary, Mac, Mac, Mac (something on the lines of the hindi one “aam churi, chappan churi”… remember :-) ?). That game and the way they were playing immediately brought a smile on my face :-). Oh, so kids do play such games till now, though with bit variation but the core fun aspect looked the same.

As soon as I entered my home, something made me decide to go for a walk in the evening itself. I generally go down for my walk at night once I’m back from office or maybe after dinner. Since I go out in dark, mostly I end up walking in the pavement area circling my apartment where there is ample lighting instead of walking in the green area where there is only dim lighting. And once I went down in the daylight, I was surprised to see the place abuzz with so much of activity there. Garden was indeed very beautiful with lush green grass, swings for kids, beautiful seating arrangements within patches of greens and a lovely fountain. Yes, I had heard many times from my neighbor that the garden in our apartment is quite nice and fresh but only that day I realized how lovely it was. Also made me think that I had never come down to this area in the evenings, in fact the only time I remember checking this place was when we were moving in and had gone down to check out the facilities. Those days, that area was under construction and hence not so well maintained. I do go down to the common facility areas on weekends but mostly it’s to use the swimming pool or occasionally the gym but never ever to this beautiful place full of natural beauty, fresh air and bloom all around. And I have been staying in this apartment for like 2.5 years now!!!

Spotted this empty bench and decided to sit on it for a while before starting the walk and the whole surrounding made me so nostalgic. There were women gossiping, kids playing, old aunties sitting on grass in circles and old uncles discussing something while taking their walks; reminded me of park evenings which we used to have during our childhood days. It was actually quite lively and nice, lost in my thoughts with my ipod plugged in my ears I never realized when more than an hour slipped by. Even music seemed to be more melodious with serenity and greenery all around. Only when the phone buzzed, I actually noticed the time and realized that it’s already dark now. And guess what, I was so lost in my thoughts and engrossed in silently observing people that not even once I felt the need to update my Facebook or Twitter stream in that one hour. If it would have been just another free moment at my home or those waiting hours while on commute, I’m sure I would have been glued on to any digital screen refreshing my timeline or reading something interesting on internet.

Relaxed and refreshed, while I pressed the lift button to go back I only wondered why I didn’t come there earlier? Why we generally tend to ignore such common activities, which actually can give us some very special moments? Some pleasures are just so near to us but we are too busy to even notice it. Some things are just so simple, yet they give you such unique satisfaction. Reminds me of this quote by Paulo Coelho which I had liked so much while reading The Alchemist – “It's the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary”.

Note to self: I must go back to this place and spend some “me time” whenever I can, after all I used to enjoy doing this so much during my school and college days :-)...oh those lovely evenings in hostel when I used to spend hours reading my favorite books on garden benches...

Just Generally

Common yet rare!

Yesterday evening had a chance to return early from work and that too during daylight. While nearing the lift I noticed lots of happy kids playing and running around. Well, to be honest I had no idea that there are so many kids in my apartment and even kids of today’s generation go out and play games like hide & seek in playgrounds! From their chirpiness and conversations it looked like they were playing hide & seek itself with few of them hidden in the basement car parking area. When I reached my floor, just outside the lift saw these two young girls of neighborhood family clapping hands and playing Miss Mary, Mac, Mac, Mac (something on the lines of the hindi one “aam churi, chappan churi”… remember :-) ?). That game and the way they were playing immediately brought a smile on my face :-). Oh, so kids do play such games till now, though with bit variation but the core fun aspect looked the same.

As soon as I entered my home, something made me decide to go for a walk in the evening itself. I generally go down for my walk at night once I’m back from office or maybe after dinner. Since I go out in dark, mostly I end up walking in the pavement area circling my apartment where there is ample lighting instead of walking in the green area where there is only dim lighting. And once I went down in the daylight, I was surprised to see the place abuzz with so much of activity there. Garden was indeed very beautiful with lush green grass, swings for kids, beautiful seating arrangements within patches of greens and a lovely fountain. Yes, I had heard many times from my neighbor that the garden in our apartment is quite nice and fresh but only that day I realized how lovely it was. Also made me think that I had never come down to this area in the evenings, in fact the only time I remember checking this place was when we were moving in and had gone down to check out the facilities. Those days, that area was under construction and hence not so well maintained. I do go down to the common facility areas on weekends but mostly it’s to use the swimming pool or occasionally the gym but never ever to this beautiful place full of natural beauty, fresh air and bloom all around. And I have been staying in this apartment for like 2.5 years now!!!

Spotted this empty bench and decided to sit on it for a while before starting the walk and the whole surrounding made me so nostalgic. There were women gossiping, kids playing, old aunties sitting on grass in circles and old uncles discussing something while taking their walks; reminded me of park evenings which we used to have during our childhood days. It was actually quite lively and nice, lost in my thoughts with my ipod plugged in my ears I never realized when more than an hour slipped by. Even music seemed to be more melodious with serenity and greenery all around. Only when the phone buzzed, I actually noticed the time and realized that it’s already dark now. And guess what, I was so lost in my thoughts and engrossed in silently observing people that not even once I felt the need to update my Facebook or Twitter stream in that one hour. If it would have been just another free moment at my home or those waiting hours while on commute, I’m sure I would have been glued on to any digital screen refreshing my timeline or reading something interesting on internet.

Relaxed and refreshed, while I pressed the lift button to go back I only wondered why I didn’t come there earlier? Why we generally tend to ignore such common activities, which actually can give us some very special moments? Some pleasures are just so near to us but we are too busy to even notice it. Some things are just so simple, yet they give you such unique satisfaction. Reminds me of this quote by Paulo Coelho which I had liked so much while reading The Alchemist – “It's the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary”.

Note to self: I must go back to this place and spend some “me time” whenever I can, after all I used to enjoy doing this so much during my school and college days :-)...oh those lovely evenings in hostel when I used to spend hours reading my favorite books on garden benches...

Oh yes, I'm alive people :) and was once again absconding from this space for weeks :(... Many a reasons for the same but well I will leave that for a separate post.
As of now, I'm in quite a weird mood or shall I say pissed off with some generalist attitudes. The recent one being, hearing of negative sighs with a standard statement - "Arey yaar teri kismat badi achchi hai"!

Don't know if it’s the frequency of this statement in recent times or the negativity which it exudes even from so called close people which irritates me more but whatever it is, these days this sentence really gets on to my nerves! You meet someone, he/she asks you how life is going on, gives some happening updates of his or her life, insists again and again on knowing what’s up with you and then when you reply about the updates or latest developments in your life, you get to hear - "arey wah, great to know about these. Waise kuch bhi bol yaar, teri kismat bahut achchi hai. Tujhe yeh bhi mil jata hai aur woh bhi, teri hi life sahi hai". Well, normally such sentences do not bother me but then there are times when it does. Especially when you know the effort which you had put in or the difficulties you had to face to get those things and all you can see is the gloomy expression or the negative heave of sigh which the person leaves for you!

Well, not everything can be all about kismat or luck in life. And even if it is, then why this sigh for others? I mean you also have a happy life going on then why not be happy for others too? Why it diminishes when you hear about some positive updates in others lives? Will your life be happier if you focus on what you have or will it be happier when you come to know what others don't have? Why the evaluation of your life always has to be in comparison to someone else?

Now coming down to luck, I have no idea if any such thing exists in life. At least those who know me closely esp. since childhood know the kind of struggle which I have gone through in my life. Again I am not saying that I have had one of the most difficult lives ever but yes, I know that nothing has ever come to me easily and simply out of luck. Life has never ever been easy for me; I had my own share of unimaginable losses and unexpected mayhem. Those who know me very personally can actually vouch for that. But then I also know that if I have really-really tried for something in life I have got it; maybe not everything what I wanted and not at the time when I wanted but sooner or later and in some or other form it has come to me. I also know that rarely have I felt negative in life due to happiness or success or growth of others. This does not mean I did not have my own moments of frustration or depression, I'm no saint or some ultra optimistic person but such phases have been mainly due to my own problems and not because of happiness of others. I at times wonder why I do not bother much about others; maybe the struggle of my own life keeps me busy enough to not focus on others. I’m too engrossed solving my own problems and thinking of bettering my own life instead of missing on what others have with them.

A person like me does not always like to share the problems or turbulences of my life very openly. This does not mean I’m one of the super happy persons or everything comes absolutely easily to me. Also when life is so busy for all of us, then when we meet I prefer to discuss the stuffs which can give us lighter moments in our already stressed lives. So, without knowing the complete picture or the immense endeavor which one has put in getting something in life, just do not come to conclusion as to how others’ lives are always so perfect and how yours is so miserable!

Can’t you evaluate your happiness in absolute quotient based on your own life instead of evaluating it as a relative quotient by comparing to others? I know it sounds like some theoretical gyaan or boring updesh but try avoiding this relative measurement or comparative analysis once and see the difference in your satisfaction level… I really mean it! And next time think before heaving that negative sigh for others.

Just Generally · life · Musings

Happiness: Absolute or Relative Quotient?

Oh yes, I'm alive people :) and was once again absconding from this space for weeks :(... Many a reasons for the same but well I will leave that for a separate post.
As of now, I'm in quite a weird mood or shall I say pissed off with some generalist attitudes. The recent one being, hearing of negative sighs with a standard statement - "Arey yaar teri kismat badi achchi hai"!

Don't know if it’s the frequency of this statement in recent times or the negativity which it exudes even from so called close people which irritates me more but whatever it is, these days this sentence really gets on to my nerves! You meet someone, he/she asks you how life is going on, gives some happening updates of his or her life, insists again and again on knowing what’s up with you and then when you reply about the updates or latest developments in your life, you get to hear - "arey wah, great to know about these. Waise kuch bhi bol yaar, teri kismat bahut achchi hai. Tujhe yeh bhi mil jata hai aur woh bhi, teri hi life sahi hai". Well, normally such sentences do not bother me but then there are times when it does. Especially when you know the effort which you had put in or the difficulties you had to face to get those things and all you can see is the gloomy expression or the negative heave of sigh which the person leaves for you!

Well, not everything can be all about kismat or luck in life. And even if it is, then why this sigh for others? I mean you also have a happy life going on then why not be happy for others too? Why it diminishes when you hear about some positive updates in others lives? Will your life be happier if you focus on what you have or will it be happier when you come to know what others don't have? Why the evaluation of your life always has to be in comparison to someone else?

Now coming down to luck, I have no idea if any such thing exists in life. At least those who know me closely esp. since childhood know the kind of struggle which I have gone through in my life. Again I am not saying that I have had one of the most difficult lives ever but yes, I know that nothing has ever come to me easily and simply out of luck. Life has never ever been easy for me; I had my own share of unimaginable losses and unexpected mayhem. Those who know me very personally can actually vouch for that. But then I also know that if I have really-really tried for something in life I have got it; maybe not everything what I wanted and not at the time when I wanted but sooner or later and in some or other form it has come to me. I also know that rarely have I felt negative in life due to happiness or success or growth of others. This does not mean I did not have my own moments of frustration or depression, I'm no saint or some ultra optimistic person but such phases have been mainly due to my own problems and not because of happiness of others. I at times wonder why I do not bother much about others; maybe the struggle of my own life keeps me busy enough to not focus on others. I’m too engrossed solving my own problems and thinking of bettering my own life instead of missing on what others have with them.

A person like me does not always like to share the problems or turbulences of my life very openly. This does not mean I’m one of the super happy persons or everything comes absolutely easily to me. Also when life is so busy for all of us, then when we meet I prefer to discuss the stuffs which can give us lighter moments in our already stressed lives. So, without knowing the complete picture or the immense endeavor which one has put in getting something in life, just do not come to conclusion as to how others’ lives are always so perfect and how yours is so miserable!

Can’t you evaluate your happiness in absolute quotient based on your own life instead of evaluating it as a relative quotient by comparing to others? I know it sounds like some theoretical gyaan or boring updesh but try avoiding this relative measurement or comparative analysis once and see the difference in your satisfaction level… I really mean it! And next time think before heaving that negative sigh for others.

Life is what you make it – Well, to start with this is really one of those books which makes you restless if you don’t finish it in continuation! I started reading this book last weekend but then due to lots of other commitments both at office and home front, I could not get time to pick it back. And trust me, every night when I missed to read the book I kept on thinking about Ankita and what exactly would have happened to her perfect life which ended her being into a mental hospital? Initial few pages portrayed her life going on a smooth path – a nice student life in one of the most reputed colleges and a nice personal life with all the love from her boyfriend… Then how come she is meeting this psychiatrist described at the start of the story? Thank God, I finally got the chance to pick it up this Saturday and all the curiosity ensured that I didn’t keep the book down without finishing it completely.

As I do with my reviews, I don’t prefer to reveal much of the story or scenes from any book / movie in the interest who are yet to read / watch it. So, here goes just the brief summary of what this book is all about – It’s is the story of a young gal Ankita Sharma who is confident, smart, ambitious and is moving ahead in her life in the desired direction. The book starts with her first exposure to college life, her long distance love relationship, her changing personality in an all girls’ college, her encounter with new friends and relationship swings like most of the girls of her age. Life is going good till she realizes that God has made some other plans for her. Ankita’s life turns topsy-turvy when she is diagnosed with a mental illness. The second half of the book very sensitively deals with her anger, fear, pain and her struggle to overcome the odds of her life. What seems to be an easy, breezy read in the beginning actually turns out to be an intense and captivating story by the end.

Personally speaking, I really loved the book and it fared far better than I expected it to be. Reason for expecting it to be a general read was mainly the sentence on the cover of the book – "A story of love, hope and how determination can overcome destiny". I assumed it to be like most of these urban English fiction these days i.e., simple love story with general highs and lows of life. But this book is much more than just another love story. More than anything else, I liked the narration of this story. Be it the joy or fun of Ankita or her strife to regain her life, almost every aspect has been presented in a simple yet gripping way. There were moments when I got so engrossed with Ankita’s pain that I actually ended up googling “bipolar disorder” in order to understand this disease better. From words to the plot, everything held my attention from start to end. As per author’s one the tweets, this book has been declared as national bestseller now. Well, it definitely deserves to be one! Overall, a very interesting read and a book which I surely recommend.

Book Details:
Title: Life is what you make it
Price: Rs. 100 (Available at discounted rates online – Flipkart, Infibeam)
Number of Pages: 209
Author: Preeti Shenoy
Like the book at: Facebook

This review is a part of the Book Reviews Program at BlogAdda.com. Participate now to get free books! Thank you BlogAdda for sending me this book for review.

Book Review · Books · Life is what you make it

Book Review: "Life is what you make it" by Preeti Shenoy

Life is what you make it – Well, to start with this is really one of those books which makes you restless if you don’t finish it in continuation! I started reading this book last weekend but then due to lots of other commitments both at office and home front, I could not get time to pick it back. And trust me, every night when I missed to read the book I kept on thinking about Ankita and what exactly would have happened to her perfect life which ended her being into a mental hospital? Initial few pages portrayed her life going on a smooth path – a nice student life in one of the most reputed colleges and a nice personal life with all the love from her boyfriend… Then how come she is meeting this psychiatrist described at the start of the story? Thank God, I finally got the chance to pick it up this Saturday and all the curiosity ensured that I didn’t keep the book down without finishing it completely.

As I do with my reviews, I don’t prefer to reveal much of the story or scenes from any book / movie in the interest who are yet to read / watch it. So, here goes just the brief summary of what this book is all about – It’s is the story of a young gal Ankita Sharma who is confident, smart, ambitious and is moving ahead in her life in the desired direction. The book starts with her first exposure to college life, her long distance love relationship, her changing personality in an all girls’ college, her encounter with new friends and relationship swings like most of the girls of her age. Life is going good till she realizes that God has made some other plans for her. Ankita’s life turns topsy-turvy when she is diagnosed with a mental illness. The second half of the book very sensitively deals with her anger, fear, pain and her struggle to overcome the odds of her life. What seems to be an easy, breezy read in the beginning actually turns out to be an intense and captivating story by the end.

Personally speaking, I really loved the book and it fared far better than I expected it to be. Reason for expecting it to be a general read was mainly the sentence on the cover of the book – "A story of love, hope and how determination can overcome destiny". I assumed it to be like most of these urban English fiction these days i.e., simple love story with general highs and lows of life. But this book is much more than just another love story. More than anything else, I liked the narration of this story. Be it the joy or fun of Ankita or her strife to regain her life, almost every aspect has been presented in a simple yet gripping way. There were moments when I got so engrossed with Ankita’s pain that I actually ended up googling “bipolar disorder” in order to understand this disease better. From words to the plot, everything held my attention from start to end. As per author’s one the tweets, this book has been declared as national bestseller now. Well, it definitely deserves to be one! Overall, a very interesting read and a book which I surely recommend.

Book Details:
Title: Life is what you make it
Price: Rs. 100 (Available at discounted rates online – Flipkart, Infibeam)
Number of Pages: 209
Author: Preeti Shenoy
Like the book at: Facebook

This review is a part of the Book Reviews Program at BlogAdda.com. Participate now to get free books! Thank you BlogAdda for sending me this book for review.

WTH, again I’m absconding from my blog despite the fact that I have so many things to share. Damn the work and health and hundreds of other engagements which are keeping me away from things which I love to do the most :(. Nevertheless today I’m back as too excited with a recent incident and I think I must pen it down :).

I got a call from my office receptionist that a woman named S called and has left her number for me. The name immediately rang a bell but then I reminded myself that it can’t be “that” S which I was thinking about. After all it’s been decades that we lost touch with each other. Maybe she is some client or other business associate with a similar name. So, with this in mind I dialed up the number keeping my tone the formal business like but wow, whoa, whatey surprise it was! I just could not believe it was same S… same old kindergarten school friend! Yes, it was her only. We cross checked and re-verified with few questions about our school days and lo behold it was confirmed! Now the most important question, how did she manage to find me and that too on my office landline number? And when I heard of her efforts, I was totally dumbstruck. I mean I bow down to her efforts of finding such a long lost childhood friend. So, this is what she had to say:

“Whenever she thought of the word friend, she remembered me. Though our lives moved on after our primary schools, we moved to different schools and then different cities but she kept on looking for me. As was the case in those non-internet & non-mobile phones era, there was no simpler way to find out the whereabouts of each other. Though we used to hear about each other through friends and occasionally communicated through postal letters too but then even that got lost esp. because of me moving to different cities for further education and then later job. She got married and is now settled in Delhi in her family life. Slowly she began using internet and she said the first name which she searched on Google or Facebook was mine. She found me on FB, but couldn’t send me message due to some privacy settings. Later landed on my publicly available email id through my blog, sent there a mail which I never got as it went in spam. Googled more and found my professional whereabouts, landed on my company website, found the corporate landline number of my company and dialed there asking for me and yes she got me!”

She was indeed a very-very close friend of mine, in fact best friend of those chaddi-buddy days :) spent in that small town which perhaps is one of the remotest corners of the country but is one of the most special places for me mainly because of the lovely people & beautiful childhood memories associated with them. Though with time things changed and I moved cities, developed my own circle in newer schools-colleges and newer cities. And then life changed forever when I started working in metros, got married and like many other of my generation started juggling between professional and personal life.

I will be honest that I remembered her always but yes never ever took the kind of effort which she took to find me. I can’t tell you how special it feels when you realize that even in this jet age where relationship changes within minutes, someone out there still remembers you and has been trying to look for you for years and years. I could not thank her enough for connecting back to me and told her that I will call her back as soon as I reach home. Next moment I shared this news with two people - my husband & my closest friend. Husband being a man was amused on how gals can remember things for so long and closest friend being a girl could totally relate to my excitement of finding another long lost childhood friend.

Same night I called her back and chatted for hours, it never seemed like as if we were talking to each other after so many years, rather a decade or two :). Conversation was flowing naturally from one topic to another, from remembering our very early school days to the days after our paths separated. Husband was lying next to me listening to my conversation. As soon as I kept the phone he asked “is it the same friend whom you found today morning, you spoke to this bachpan ki friend after years and still managed to talk for so long, never looked like you both were out of touch; my god only girls can do this”. I replied with a smile and said, “its not girls rather its childhood friends who can do this; no matter where you left you can always restart it at any point of time, such is the innocence and honesty of a childhood relationship”.

Ain’t it true???

Frienship · Just Generally

Woh bachpan ki dosti...

WTH, again I’m absconding from my blog despite the fact that I have so many things to share. Damn the work and health and hundreds of other engagements which are keeping me away from things which I love to do the most :(. Nevertheless today I’m back as too excited with a recent incident and I think I must pen it down :).

I got a call from my office receptionist that a woman named S called and has left her number for me. The name immediately rang a bell but then I reminded myself that it can’t be “that” S which I was thinking about. After all it’s been decades that we lost touch with each other. Maybe she is some client or other business associate with a similar name. So, with this in mind I dialed up the number keeping my tone the formal business like but wow, whoa, whatey surprise it was! I just could not believe it was same S… same old kindergarten school friend! Yes, it was her only. We cross checked and re-verified with few questions about our school days and lo behold it was confirmed! Now the most important question, how did she manage to find me and that too on my office landline number? And when I heard of her efforts, I was totally dumbstruck. I mean I bow down to her efforts of finding such a long lost childhood friend. So, this is what she had to say:

“Whenever she thought of the word friend, she remembered me. Though our lives moved on after our primary schools, we moved to different schools and then different cities but she kept on looking for me. As was the case in those non-internet & non-mobile phones era, there was no simpler way to find out the whereabouts of each other. Though we used to hear about each other through friends and occasionally communicated through postal letters too but then even that got lost esp. because of me moving to different cities for further education and then later job. She got married and is now settled in Delhi in her family life. Slowly she began using internet and she said the first name which she searched on Google or Facebook was mine. She found me on FB, but couldn’t send me message due to some privacy settings. Later landed on my publicly available email id through my blog, sent there a mail which I never got as it went in spam. Googled more and found my professional whereabouts, landed on my company website, found the corporate landline number of my company and dialed there asking for me and yes she got me!”

She was indeed a very-very close friend of mine, in fact best friend of those chaddi-buddy days :) spent in that small town which perhaps is one of the remotest corners of the country but is one of the most special places for me mainly because of the lovely people & beautiful childhood memories associated with them. Though with time things changed and I moved cities, developed my own circle in newer schools-colleges and newer cities. And then life changed forever when I started working in metros, got married and like many other of my generation started juggling between professional and personal life.

I will be honest that I remembered her always but yes never ever took the kind of effort which she took to find me. I can’t tell you how special it feels when you realize that even in this jet age where relationship changes within minutes, someone out there still remembers you and has been trying to look for you for years and years. I could not thank her enough for connecting back to me and told her that I will call her back as soon as I reach home. Next moment I shared this news with two people - my husband & my closest friend. Husband being a man was amused on how gals can remember things for so long and closest friend being a girl could totally relate to my excitement of finding another long lost childhood friend.

Same night I called her back and chatted for hours, it never seemed like as if we were talking to each other after so many years, rather a decade or two :). Conversation was flowing naturally from one topic to another, from remembering our very early school days to the days after our paths separated. Husband was lying next to me listening to my conversation. As soon as I kept the phone he asked “is it the same friend whom you found today morning, you spoke to this bachpan ki friend after years and still managed to talk for so long, never looked like you both were out of touch; my god only girls can do this”. I replied with a smile and said, “its not girls rather its childhood friends who can do this; no matter where you left you can always restart it at any point of time, such is the innocence and honesty of a childhood relationship”.

Ain’t it true???